On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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