that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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