I CAN MOONWALK!
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i think i just lost a toe
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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