Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
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