ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
