Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
