SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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