Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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