oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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