Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
