He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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