I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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