Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
