So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
