remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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