highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize