Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize