Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
