3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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