Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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