he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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