Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
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he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
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He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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