Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
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