She is in my trunk
Michael Bay diarrhea
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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