i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
