wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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