question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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