I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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