Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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