I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
