Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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