Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
