I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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