first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
