Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
