Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
