The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
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If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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