If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
