Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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