Porn is love you can see.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
