I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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