I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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