What did we do last night that was yellow?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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