I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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