:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize