Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
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Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
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I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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