Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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