Nicole vs. Life
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Everything about him screamed your future.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
