I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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