She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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