It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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