So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
