Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
