D3 body, D1 cock
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
i believe in u and ur pee
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
