I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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