it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
