I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
