just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
