wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
