Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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