I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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