I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
