Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize