One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
